was i choosing to drown?

the need to survive was pulling me along

i want to burn down the past

but the haunting is magnetic

and i don’t know where the exit is

my fear is that i don’t know another way

joy wasn’t encoded into my being

but i feel an aching inside

to look for the door

this armoring is simply too heavy

and i feel its time to rest my head

somewhere softer, full of velvet dreams

i want to believe i deserve it

because i know soft things belong to me

and wonder is waiting somewhere

a place i know i’ve touched before

it’s effortless

it’s right in front of me