it’s back and i am swept up all over again

i don’t know where the exit door is but i need to find it

the current is too strong and i don’t know where to hold on

maybe i am just choosing to drown in the shallow waters

there’s nothing to be afraid of and i am choosing to drown

because it is familiar

welcomed back into the arms of this sick family

and it hurts so fucking much

but i just let it wash over me

the destructive escapism keeps

the floodwater going without stopping

it’s not my problem but it is my problem

i will just let it go until i am almost drowning

passivity is the most dangerous addiction

i am so good at ignoring at avoiding at escaping

i’ll walk straight into a landmine because my head’s in the clouds

help me please because they are scratching their way into my walls

i don’t know how to stop them they are going to find their way in

i am too good at avoiding the things that make me feel good because i am always trying to be good